My best friend and I constantly hang out together with our kids, but we do not raise our kids the same. We never tell each other we're wrong, but if we ask for an opinion, our answer is usually, "Well that's just not how I would do it." Never ever do we say, "No, you're wrong, You shouldn't do that." There is no perfect parent, just as there is no perfect person. If your kids love you and know they are loved, and respect you and others, then you have been successful. When you have 2 small children of your own, and bring in a 9 year old boy whom you had never met and only known now for 5 months, then tell me how you feel, tell me your struggles. When you see your 3 year old son being negatively effected by the adjustment, tell me how that makes you feel.
I could go on and on and on. My husband told me I didn't need to defend myself to anyone, that there would be no point, and people will believe what they choose. He also tells me on a regular basis what an amazing mommy I am, as does my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. It's the oldest saying in the book, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." And how dare someone kick a girl when she's already down. I share my adoption experiences with the world, because I know there are other people out there going through a very similar situation, and need to know that there are others out there struggling and it's not all sunshine and rainbows. We just had our monthly adoption dinner/group meeting last night, and even the adoptive parents of children whom they've had since birth, still struggle with very similar issues we are struggling with. I only wish I had more time with this group, then just once a month, because hearing we are not alone and "I understand how you feel," is so refreshing and uplifting.
|My beautiful, happy children!|