Thursday, October 11, 2012

Sick To My Stomach!

GRRRRRR!!!  Remember that feeling you used to get in your stomach when a boyfriend or girlfriend lied to you or cheated on you?  You couldn't eat.  You felt out of control and anxiety.  Well, at least that's how it used to be for me back in the day of dating dirt bags.  And now that I'm having to deal with lying in my life again, with my adopted 9 year old son, these sick feelings in the pit of my stomach have returned.  I want to scream...I want to shake him into shape.  Of course we're not giving up.  We don't have that option.  He is our son to keep, forever and ever.

I had written previously about him lying, not bringing his homework home, and being punished.  After school yesterday, I praised him for bringing home all A's and B's.  That was a first and a big deal, considering the first few weeks were nothing but D's and F's.  We're in week 8 now and it seems R has regressed to the boy  he was before he came to live with us.  When we got home from eating dinner at Moe's last night, because kids eat free on Wednesday's, I had a surprise for him on his bed:  a new hat, for hat day this Friday, and 3 new pairs of pants.  But then when we told him to go start on his homework, while we got the little kids ready for bed, the madness began.  Once again, he didn't bring his homework home, nor did he write his assignments in his daily planner.  I paid $5.00 for a mandatory school planner at the beginning of the year, that the students are required to write their daily assignments in, and the parents are to sign it every evening.  We have gotten on to him before for not writing his assignments down, because we didn't know what it was he was supposed to be doing.  We thought this problem was tackled, but apparently not.  My husband gave him quite a lecture last night and made him write an apology letter to his teacher.  I told him I was taking the hat back and he would not be participating in hat day.  Afterwards, he was sent straight to bed with the little kids, before 8:00.  He went to bed crying, which made me angry for some reason.  Why was he crying for something he did on purpose, that he had been punished for doing the day prior, and did again?  The letter to his teacher was wet with tears also.  Our church and his school are putting on a Fall Festival together, this evening at the school.  It's a very popular and fun event that we had planned on attending and he was excited about, but we won't be going now.  And riding the bus with his neighborhood friends is something he thoroughly enjoys, so he won't be riding the bus for a little while either.

Some of you might be thinking all of these punishments are too harsh.  But let me elaborate on where they come from.  My husband and I grew up with the mind set that school was very important.  Succeeding in school was not an was a must.  We graduated from high school and college with honors.  R has the ability to as well, but right now he's not putting forth enough effort.  Let me share with you the e-mail I sent his teacher and her response.  It was the straw that broke the camels back.

Hello Mrs. T and Mrs. V,
We are having a rough week with R.  He didn't bring his homework home Tuesday.  On Wednesday, he didn't bring his Reading book home to do his questions.  We're also having a hard time getting him to write down his homework assignments in his planner.  He is being punished for these things.  He was very excited for the Fall Festival and Hat Day, which we're not letting him participate in now, and he had to write an apology letter to Mrs. T for not doing his reading questions.  Mrs. V, I know you said you would have R make up Tuesday's homework during recess on Wednesday.  Will you or Mrs. T have him stay in from recess on Thursday, to make up Wednesdays homework, unless you have another idea?  Please, let us know how we can help with this problem.

Good morning! That makes me so disappointed in R, because I specifically asked him yesterday if he had written down all of his assignments and had what he needed before he left  yesterday and he assured me that he did. I will check his backpack and planner today before he leaves to make sure he has What he needs. Are the questions that you are talking about the scavenger hunt for this story??  The reason I ask is that that assignment went home Tuesday night, not last night.  They took their reading test yesterday so he wouldn't have needed his reading book last night.   I agree that he is struggling this week.  He has also been very talkative in class as well.  He is a sweet boy and is adjusting to his new environment at school, he just needs to be a bit more organized.   I will keep him in for recess today.  Thanks for your support and cooperation at home!  Mrs. V

Oh this makes us so disappointed too. I feel like we have taken 10 steps back this week. Please note that he will not be riding the bus today or tomorrow. We will bring him to and from school. Thank you, Mrs. V.

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