Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Adoption

I hate to start my blog with this post, but it's what's weighing heavy on my mind and heart lately.  I have so many great things to share for the future, so please don't count me out before you have the chance to get to know me, and hopefully I have the chance to touch your life in some way.

My husband and I adopted an 8 year old boy in June of 2012, now 9 years old.  Before I get carried away with the present, let me go back and start at the beginning.  My biological children are almost 4 and 2, and I love them so much that I can't even put it into words.  My fellow mommies know what I mean.  Back in December of 2011, I reconnected with some family via Facebook.  This is family I have never been close to and hadn't seen in almost 20 years, which means I was about 10 years old.  The reason being that they have drug and alcohol problems, served time in prison, etc.  But I like to give people second chances and I wanted them to see how well I grew up, and what an amazing family I have.

Come January, we planned a weekend visit, since they only live 5 hours away from us.  To be specific, it was my grandmother we were visiting...my mom's mother.  My mom was not raised by her mother.  However, her mom did go on to have 5 more children after her.  None of them graduated from high school.  Two of them are dead from alcoholism and TB.  The other 3 have serious issues as well.  You can imagine how thankful my mom is that she was not raised by her mother.

During this weekend visit, we met a young boy that Grandma had adopted and was "raising."  A 75 year old woman raising a biracial (black/white), 8 year old boy, from birth...not a good idea, but it was his best option.  She adopted him from her daughter, when she gave birth to him and he tested positive for cocaine.  Child Protective Services would not allow his mother to raise him. No one knows who his biological father is, because his mother was prostituting herself for drugs.

This little boy, Robert, touched our hearts almost immediately.  My husband is biracial, and our son looks identical to him.  Robert immediately latched on, saying how much he looked like the two of them.  He had never been around anything but white people, and mostly women at that. Black people were talked about in a negative way around him, therefore he was embarrassed of the way he looked.  My husband took immediate notice of this and said to me, "I want to take this boy away from here!"  I asked him if he was serious and to my surprise he said he was.  So before we left that weekend, we sat down with Grandma and told her that if anything were to ever happen to her, we would like to raise Robert.  How ironic that she would tell us she had me listed as his guardian in that case!  The weekend came to a quick end and we had to leave.  Robert cried and begged us to take him with us.  Obviously we couldn't...it just doesn't work that way.

After letting the events of the weekend soak in for a day, my husband and I sat on the couch and discussed Robert and his situation.  We came to the conclusion that we wanted him now, if we were going to get him, because he still may have a chance to turn out okay.  If he was older, he would be molded already, and it would be too late and too dangerous for our kids.  The next morning, I called Grandma and just flat out asked her if we could adopt him.  Surprisingly, she was not taken aback by that question at all, and simply said it sounded great to her but she would have to ask Robert, because it would be his choice.  The next day, she called me with his answer...YES!  It was that day in January that the adoption process began.  Five months later, and approximately $3,500, he was legally our child.

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6 comments:

  1. Very touching and inspirational story, Holly!

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  2. Thank you, Melissa! I appreciate you taking the time to read it.

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  3. I'm so pleased you're writing this. I'll be sure to follow! Xoxo

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  4. Hollie I am so thankful that you guys adopted Robert. He has touched my life so much. My story doesn't quite met his exactly but needless to say I was adopted. Sometimes I see so much of me in him. He is a loving child that just so despertely wants to fit in somewhere. The reason I am thankful that you took him in is because drugs is in already in his genics but maybe you can make an impact to where he doesn't have to resort to the street life in order to fit in. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. Because even though I had the love in my life lots of times it wasn't a positive love. I unfortunately resorted to the street life looking for that special love. I say all of this my suggestion to you is love him unconditionally and be patient with him ( even though it is trying to you and Marc). Thank you for giving me three beautiful children to share my love. Muah!

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  5. Oh Chrissy, you are the best sister-in-law in the world! I am so thankful for you.

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